Category Archives: Self Esteem

Why are we here and other big questions

questions we askQuestions, our head can be full of them. Those thought-provoking questions that have us exploring deep inside us, deep inside our being. Questions like:

What am I? What is our sole purpose?

And the killer one…

What am I here to do?

These type of question are all well and great – especially when you want to dig deep, have the space and time to meditate, and wonder on the answers – but they’re also great focus and attention grabbers too. Read More

Is focusing on yourself selfish?

Is focusing on yourself selfish?

As children we are taught that being selfish is wrong. Logic then dictates that, if we focus on ourselves, we’re being selfish. If you’re female, this is further enhanced as you’re taught to be caring, nurturing and supportive of others in preparation of being a mother. So we focus on everything and everyone around us, giving them our time, energy and focus… often to the detriment of ourselves. Read More

10 Strategies to Uncover the REAL You – Part 4

What makes you so special? Do you know – honestly?  Have the demands of day-to-day life blurred the distinctions between your real self and your public self?  Do others see the real you or the public face you show others?  How much of the real YOU do others see?  Who exactly are you?

In this four part series we are looking at the strategies you can use to uncover the real you. We have already covered strategies such as using photos as a visual aid, writing a mission statement and how being selfish can be helpful to you.

In the final part of this series we will we be investigating the last two options to help uncover the real you.

9. Be Your Own Counsel

Vow to be more self-reliant. One sure way of losing sight of what you think and who you are is to ask lots of other people, or to rely upon your job title and work culture to provide you with a sense of self. You end up with a mixture of views, and your wisdom will be no better than the received wisdom of others.

Vow to stop asking for advice or allowing externals things, like a promotion or a pay rise, to define you. Make it a point that before you ask anyone else for their OPINION, you ask yourself first. Trust your instincts.  They’re better than you think and the more you use them, the sharper they’ll get.

10. Ban Self Doubt & Say ‘Hello’ To The Real You

You owe it to yourself to appreciate your own unique brilliance and your natural gifts. It’s not big-headedness; it’s about seeing real youyourself in the best possible light. We’re all born with innate gifts and talents. The trick is to spot them and use them to the full.

This goes beyond mere positive thinking. This is about the incontrovertible truth that you’ve simply not seen clearly before. Here’s what to do:

  • Identify the real you (as above)
  • Look for evidence that backs up and demonstrates your skills & attributes.  Make sure the evidence is so convincing and compelling; it will silence the other negative nonsense going on in your head.
  • Don’t undermine the truth by telling yourself you’re not qualified to express this talent. Which cookery course did Nigella ever take? Did the Bronte sisters sign up for a creative writing class? Finally, have a holiday from self-doubt.
  • Wean yourself off criticism and self-sabotage.  Every time you notice you’re doing it, stop. Remind yourself that’s the old you – the real you no longer needs it moving forward.

Finally, become a doer, not a talker.  If you’ve come this far and uncovered a secret passion, skill or gift, then act on it!  Decide one action that you can take today to get you started. As George Eliot said over 150 years ago, “it is never too late to be what you might have been.” So you might as well be the ‘real you’!

photo credit: Cinzia A. Rizzo / fataetoile BUSY via photo pin cc

10 Strategies to Uncover the REAL You – Part 3

In ’10 Strategies to Uncover the REAL you’ we are looking to answer the question of ‘how do you go about uncovering the real you?’ In Part 1 we looked at using a photo of you as a reminder to spark you imagination, plus asking someone whose opinion you trust to tell you three of your qualities.  In Part 2 we looked at using dreams, giving yourself time to think about your answers and how being selfish can actually be good for you.

In the third part of this series we will be uncovering another three strategies for uncovering the real you.

6. Forget About Money

Imagine you’ve won the lottery and you never have to do another day’s work in your life. After splashing out on shoes, bags and holidays, what else would you do?   Once you had a wardrobe full of clothes and shoes, and sunbathing by your pool starts getting boring (it will!), what would you do if you didn’t have to do anything?  Record your images and ideas and resolve to bring some of them into your current life.

7. Identify Your “Essence” – The Real You

Ask yourself the following question: If you were locked up in a prison for a long time what would you continue to do and what would you definitely not stop doing?  The answer gives you a good insight into what forms a fundamental part of the real you and what’s trulyreal you important.  Whatever springs to mind is what you should be doing more of in your life. Make it centre stage, do more of it – it may be specific like exercise or writing; or something less obvious like motivating others – this is what is vital to you to have in your life, it’s part and parcel of who you are, so make an effort to add it into your routine to create a meaningful life.

8. Write Your Mission Statement

It’s great to be adaptable, however too much suppleness will weaken your underlying structure.  True strength and poise comes from a strong core – both physically and emotionally – which you can achieve by knowing what you want and where you are headed.  So work out your own personal “mission statement”. Answer the following questions with a short statement for each, to discover your mission statement:

  1. What do you want most out of life?
  2. What do you want to see happen in the world?
  3. What makes you special?
  4. Things I can do/am capable of doing right now.

Now write this statement as follows:

I will… (Choose one answer from 4), using my… (answer from 3), to accomplish… (answer from 2), and in so doing achieve… (answer 1).

Now you have a mission statement that gives you a purpose and strengthens your sense of self.

In the final part of this four part series for uncovering the real you, we will be looking at being self reliant and how to banish self-doubt.

photo credit: Felipe Morin via photo pin cc